Grandmom

I was holding Mason today as he slept thinking about how much I miss my Mom, Mason's Grandmom.

My Mom died almost 4 years ago on December 13, 2005 after a long battle with complications from an aortic dissection. Life for me has never really been the same since then. I mean sure, it goes on and I'm very happy but such a big part of my heart is missing without her. My Mom was not just a Mom...she was one of my very best friends. Growing up she stayed home to raise us (there are 3 of us, me and 2 older brothers) and until I became a stay at home mom myself, I never realized how important that was. To me, Mom being home was just normal. Little did I realize she was teaching me to become the mother that I am and hope to be. Through out my childhood and teenage years, she was always there for me, guiding me along life's path and showing me what unconditional love is. As I grew into an adult, our relationship changed from simply a mother/daughter to a friendship. I had and have so much respect for her and all that she has given to her family. There is such a void without her here. I know that she is Mason's guardian angel and so many times when he stares into what I perceive to be nothing, and smiles, I wonder if he is smiling at his Grandmom.

Wow, she would simply ADORE Mason and I know Mason would love her to pieces. It hurts to know that he'll never know her love, not like I did. I only hope that I can be a mother to my little man like my Mom was to me. I try to remember all that she taught me over the years about motherhood....never realizing that I would never get the chance to share this experience with her. I feel so blessed to have been given her as a Mom, even if her time with us was too short. I know that her work here on earth was done....even though I feel my time with her was not.

I love you Mom!

Up Again

So Mason has decided that even though he's been sleeping through the night....all the way through the night....for about a month and a half now, that he's going to start waking up at 2am to chug down a bottle. What has happened to my sweet little angel that would sleep for 10-12 hours at a stretch at night? Where did he go??? LOL, seriously though, I'm hoping this is just a growth spurt...or maybe some teething because he is quite the little drool bucket these days. I'm looking forward to when we go back to our 8:30pm bed time and our 8am wake up. But I do enjoy the extra little bit of time I have with my Lil Man in the wee hours of the morning. He's always so sleepy and snuggly....not trying to be a big boy and sit up while Mommy holds him. It's some of my favorite times of the day!